Last weekend, I spent the night in a hotel…. alone.
For the first time in four years I had a big bed all to myself.
No husband. No child. No cat.
Just me and a row of fluffy, feathered pillows.
And you know what I did?
Instead of getting an early night and enjoying eight hours of solid sleep, I drank a bottle of champagne and ate a box of Ferrero Rochers all to myself. I stayed up watching ‘Something About Mary’ until I passed out, and then woke up at the usual time of 4am!
A few days later I came across this thread on Twitter:
Sahaj describes how self-care is proactive, helping our growth long term, whereas self-soothing is reactive, coping skills in a moment of crisis, stress or overwhelm. Each practice aims to ground and reconnect us.
While my hotel stay was a form of self-care (a booking I made with the intention of having time and space to myself), my behaviour was self-soothing indulgence.
I wasn’t able to be fully present in my self-care stay, I couldn’t really sink into it. So, I reached for quick self-soothing methods to get to a place of comfort and relaxation.
Putting my own needs before others was not something that was modelled to me as a child and I know many women struggle to truly allow themselves self-care. Until now, self-care has been something I quickly do between work and pre-school pick-ups (e.g the weekly yoga class) and the occasional massage. My hotel stay highlighted the need to start taking self-care seriously, a daily habit, something I honour and be fully present in. So, I’ve made a promise to nurture this practise going forward.
One of the ways I’ve started to do this is to say to myself each morning ‘What can I do for my self-care today? and the answer usually comes. Even if it’s just one small thing to do that day, I do it and I’m present in it.
If this topic interests you, read Sahaj’s full Twitter thread here. She ends with some follow-up questions to reflect on.
PS: how amazing was my view! 👇
July Instagram Detox
July is a month of changing habits and giving up things to improve our wellbeing. Two popular initiatives include Dry July and Plastic Free July but you can take a break from any old vice, like sugar or caffeine etc.
This year, I’m going to do a social media detox, specifically Instagram as it’s the one where I often feel judgemental and irritated.
In the Book of Moods, Lauren Martin writes ‘social media is a microcosm of life. It’s a summary of all your illusions, hopes, dreams, anxieties, and fears. But if you only see models and engagement photos and beautifully filtered friends out to dinner without you, your world becomes as small of those things.’
Experts suggest when individuals leave social media for a month or more, they become more productive, focused, and relaxed. So, from tomorrow (1st July) I’m deleting the app from my phone and won’t return until August.
Interested? Check out this blog post - 12 of the Best Social Media Detox tips »
PS: While I may be detoxing from Instagram, I’ll still be active on Twitter, follow me here 👉 @joannabmitch, where I say things like this:
Wanting a green car? Think again
I’d like to own a cleaner, greener car but finding a suitable one has been much harder than I thought. To summarise my findings:
While electric cars reduce petrol consumption, saving you hundreds of dollars per year on petrol, unless you’re charging your car with renewable energy generated by wind or solar, you’re likely using electricity that’s been generated in a power plant emitting CO2.
The lithium-ion batteries in electric and hybrid cars use rare-earth metals, and the equipment used during the mining of these minerals are diesel-powered - so whatever way you look at it electric and hybrid vehicles have a negative environmental impact to some extent.
The most eco-friendly petrol car is a small compact car (such as the Suzuki Swift and MG3) as they are lightweight, requiring less petrol the run. However, the size is not convenient for a family - even a family of three like ours who need to fit a scooter, golf clubs and food shopping in the boot.
So, my intention to reduce our family car emissions has come to a halt for the time being. While I’ll consider public transport and walking more often, a car in Sydney is a necessity, especially with children.
From what I’ve read, several car companies have announced plans to go completely carbon neutral in the coming years so I’m sure we’ll see the green car market evolve soon. Watch this space.
The Book of Moods: How I Turned My Worst Emotions Into My Best Life
This book was recommended by my therapist and I haven’t been able to put it down all week. It’s an honest account of the author (Lauren Martin) learning to transform her relationship with her ‘moods’.
The chapter on ‘Friends’ hit me hard. There aren’t many books that talk about the challenges of adult, female friendships, yet, they are essential for a woman’s sense of self. There’s also a chapter on ‘Beauty’ - our self-criticism and obsession with how we look, and how we can learn to love and accept ourselves by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.
The Book of Moods is relatable and thought-provoking, and gave me a new perspective on my own ‘moods’ - what they mean and how I can transform them into huge personal growth.
You’re so used to your features, you forget how beautiful you look to a stranger.
— Unknown
Chocolate on Purpose - NAIDOC Week
NAIDOC week in Australia is an opportunity to learn more about and support Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities.
I came across Chocolate On Purpose - a 100% Indigenous-owned business born on Wiradyuri Country at the source of the Bila Bula (Belubula River) in New South Wales.
Their signature range of chocolate is called 'Bush Food Chocolate', created by combining melt in the mouth couverture chocolate with Australian native botanicals growing on Country.
Sounds yum! I’ve bought a few packets of chocolate for myself and to gift to friends.
(They don’t ship internationally I’m afraid so only for my Aussie readers.)
Best wishes
Joanna
www.joannabmitchell.com